Storms
by stereochick
Summary: Johnny spends a restless night battling memories and fears, but finds solace in a good friend. JohnnyPony friendship fic.


Just a small piece I wrote exploring Johnny's character and his interactions with the Curtis's. Ignore the fact that this story line is overused.

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**Storms**

(Johnny's POV)

I was afraid of thunderstorms. I guess I always had been but there was a specific incident that I always kind of figured was the cause of it even though I can remember them scaring me before it happened.

I'd been worried out of my head in my room hearing the lighting and thunder and knowing my mom had taken the car out and was on the road in this weather. I knew she hated me, but I guess I always kind of saw her as the better alternative to my father. The idea of her dying scared me. I don't know if it was because I actually did like my mom – more so loved her in spite of her lack of love for me, or because the scenario of what it would be like to only have my father living here and him beating me ten times worse than he all ready did was running through my head, but it drew me from my room and I sat on the stairs and waited for her to come home.

It was late, probably past midnight, which was abnormal for me at only eight years old. My father was passed out and I didn't want to wake him. Every time the rumble of thunder tore through the air I would jump and turn and stare at his door in fear that he would wake up.

Well, he did. He woke to the sound of the loudest crack of thunder I'd ever heard in my life, followed by the sound of myself falling down the stairs, having jumped in fright. It was dark outside and I remember looking up blurrily at the top of the stairs and a bolt of lighting flashing and him standing at the top of the staircase looking murderous. I'd had nightmares about that for years.

I'd broken my right arm that night and after the beating he'd given me my mom was afraid to take me to hospital in case they saw the belt marks he'd given me. It took until Mrs. Curtis had seen it three days later before I had a cast put on it. On the occasions when I do actually write something, I use my left hand, and more commonly when I throw a football or eat with a fork or anything.

When it gets like it was that night I usually start shaking and get real dizzy. I can't stand to be alone, and I can't be in my house. So even as jumpy as I was since those Socs beat me up real good in the lot, I was even more panic-stricken than ever as I left my house and headed towards the Curtis's. The wind was blowing fiercely, and I only had my jeans jacket to shield myself against the rain. It seemed to be coming in razor sharp, tearing at the exposed skin on my neck and making my teeth chatter to accompany the shaking.

I didn't use to feel so bad about coming over to the Curtis's house. I guess I had just never really thought about it. But now that their parents were dead and it was just the three boys I had this looming feeling like maybe it wasn't so smart to be over here, watching their TV, eating their food, taking up space. I was older now and it wasn't such a big deal that I stay out in the lot or go to Bucks and sleep in one of his rooms. It was also becoming easier to sneak out when I suspected my dad was in a dangerous mood or even, when necessary, fight back instead of taking a beating like I used to. Things could definitely be worse, and I was less of a victim now, more self-reliant.

It didn't matter though, with the rain beating down on me and the thunder and lightening scaring the hell out of me, whether I was 16 or 6, because I was frightened. A lot more so than I usually was, and I felt safe at the Curtis's. There was certainly enough noise and distraction to keep me occupied, at least until the thunder rumbled.

I knocked even though I knew I didn't have to. I didn't used to, but now I did. I dunno why, I guess it just seemed more right. I was the only one anyhow. Actually Steve and Two-bit used to knock, but now they just barged right in I guess because they thought there was no need to knock because there weren't any parents to be respectful towards.

It was Darry that came to the door and he gave a sigh when he saw me. It worried me, but he put a hand on my shoulder and I realized it was a sigh of relief. "You know you give me a heart attack with that knocking kid. Makes me think it's the state or something."

I blushed, and made a note to myself that I should try and come by when they had the door open.

"You're all wet, Johnny. How long were you outside for?"

It wasn't a long walk from my house to the Curtis's, but I had been distracted by those thoughts of intruding and it had slowed me down. Plus, it was hard to light a cigarette and keep it lit in the rain. I took my shoes off, not wanting to track water into the house and had something thrown over me from behind and obscure my vision. It was a towel, I quickly discovered as a set of hands dried my hair before letting me see who it was.

It was Soda, and he gave me one of his goofy grins that would have made a police officer let him get off with a warning. I smirked but a second later I had jumped so high he had to take a step back in shock. Thunder did that to me and I couldn't help it. Soda looked like he wanted to laugh but seeing the expression on my face stopped himself.

"You okay Johnny?" Soda asked concerned. I was shaking hard enough that he could see it just looking at me. It was kind of painful, and my stomach was all in knots.

I nodded and he looked like he was remembering how I was afraid of thunderstorms because he gave me a reassuring grin. Looking around I couldn't see or hear anybody else besides the three of them and I'm not even gonna try to describe how odd that was. I suppose the rain kept them from coming, and I suppose it was kind of late at 9:00. Two-bit's car wouldn't make it in this weather and he wouldn't walk to save his life in the rain. Steve might be at work, I couldn't be sure.

"Ponyboy, come here. Quit doing so much homework kid, you're giving me a headache." Soda called. Pony came in looking kind of groggy. It was the end of year exams, I think. I'm not sure since I haven't been there in a month or so, but Pony always looked like this around exam time. "You push yourself too hard you're not going to do well anyway you'll be so exhausted."

Pony looked up and saw Darry's back in the kitchen and looked away. I knew Darry meant well, but Pony looked like he was in bad shape and I felt kind of bad for him even if I did envy him more than anything.

They both startled as thunder cracked, but whether it was from that specifically or because I jumped a mile and made this embarrassing little squeaking noise I'd never know. Pony's head immediately turned towards me because he didn't need to see me jump to remember this specific detail about me.

He gave me one of those grins you give someone when you're remembering something about them. Pony and I sat on the couch together for awhile with Soda pacing the place. I've seen this before in Soda. Thunderstorms get him antsy and keyed up. It drove Darry crazy, which is probably why he'd gone to read in his room. Pony and I just kind of watched him, keeping one eye on the TV while he tried to occupy himself making a chocolate cake for the morning and trying to balance a spoon on his nose, which didn't work too well considering he was moving too much.

It was entertaining for the first ten minutes or so until we started getting into the show and then we both found it a bit irritating. It didn't last too long because all the moving around must have made him tired because he went off to bed around 10 or so. I was tired from being so jumpy but I couldn't relax enough to feel properly ready to sleep. I thought maybe I'd just wait the storm out then crash on their couch tomorrow when it was over. Darry would understand and probably wouldn't mind too much. I hadn't been able to sleep too well for the past two nights though and I was fading fast.

Ponyboy seemed to notice my problem and realized I wouldn't be sleeping too well if at all tonight but I knew there wasn't really anything he could do for me. Darry came out close to 11 and ushered them both off to bed. He didn't say anything to me because he knew I'd take care of myself. I lay down on the couch and curled into my pillow, wrapping my arms around it and holding it against my chest, squeezing it when the windows lit up with lightening and then holding my breath until the thunder struck. It was the vicious circle that I'd experienced one too many times.

It seemed to be never-ending and I lay there for an hour having the same thing repeat over and over. Just as I was about to give in and break down crying out of frustration, exhaustion and fright I felt a hand caress the back of my head soothingly. It startled me but I heard a low soft shushing sound and opened my eyes to see Pony sitting next to the couch with his eyes half closed as he moved his hand up and down the back of my neck. He had his chin resting on his arm on the cushions of the couch and our faces were not half a foot apart. He looked tired but when he saw me staring at him he gave me a small comforting smile, continuing the rhythmic motion of stroking my hair and neck.

I knew he was tired, but maybe he couldn't sleep either. Maybe he was so anxious about his exams he wasn't able to get any rest. Maybe the loudness of the thunder was keeping him awake. I knew exactly what I was doing but it wasn't enough to make me want to stop. I wanted company, reassurance, and freedom from guilt that Ponyboy was two years younger than I was but was willing to stay up with me to calm my nerves. No one ever did stuff like this for me. Maybe I thought I deserved it for once, and I certainly wasn't in the right shape to be refusing it.

"Are you all right Johnnycakes?" he asked quietly, in half of a whisper. His eyes were still half shut as if what he was doing relaxed him as much as it did me. My hand was right next to his and I took it and held it to let him know I appreciated what he was doing for me.

We both noticed the bolt of lightening that flashed through the curtains and without preamble he sat up and wrapped his arms around me to keep me close. I lay in wait for nearly a minute, my grip on his hand getting tighter and tighter until the rumble of thunder tore through the night and I jumped and made this pathetic whimpering noise. He just tightened his grip on my shoulders and pulled me closer, almost as if he was hugging me and protecting me at the same time. He whispered reassurances in my ear as his soft clean scent washed over me. "You're all right, it's ok. You're fine." I let go of the pillow and reached out and wrapped my arm around his back, clinging to the fabric of his shirt tightly.

It was ok to let myself feel vulnerable here in the Curtis's living room with my best friend holding me and shielding me from the weather. And the memories. If only for tonight.


End file.
